The good news is that the 24-year-old evil genius at Toni & Guy was able to salvage what was left of my bangs, and actually (dare I say it?!) produce a pretty darn cute cut!! And she didn’t yell at me at all. There was some verbal degradation, but absolutely no yelling.
One of my favorite bloggers, Jenny Lawson of ‘The Bloggess’, started a project called ‘The Traveling Red Dress,’ which is this incredibly awesome movement that encourages women to buy, share, and/or wear a wildly fabulous red dress in hope that “they could pass a little magic into the lives of people who are celebrating a milestone, battling an enemy, or simply in need of a shiny red ball gown to remind them how amazing they are.” The dress doesn’t have to be red. It doesn’t even have to be a dress. The red dress is anything you’ve always wanted but have denied yourself because you were self-conscious or thought it would be seen as silly.
It isn’t. And anyone who suggests otherwise simply hasn’t had a red dress of their own.
My red dress isn’t red. I’ve called it ‘leopard print’ more times than I can count, but when I tried it on this morning (it finally fits!!), I realized it’s technically tiger-striped. With gold flecks. It’s HEINOUS. Really, truly, hideously, awesomely ugly. A year ago I couldn’t have pulled it over my head. Heck, six months ago I would’ve looked like a sausage about to burst from its casing. But now the 3/4 sleeves are smooth, the fitted waist makes me look super curvy, and my boobs – oh, dear Lord! – my boobs are reaching for the sky in this dress. So I wore it around the house with the sluttiest shoes I own.
And rest assured, I owned that ugly fucking dress.